Full stop.

those feelings crept into my mind and my heart again.
i just dont feel good at that moment when i just somehow can sensed you're lying to me again.
i'm so scared of lies now.
i hate liars
i hate lies
how can people be so mean and not considerate?
put yourself into my shoes and think about it.
what would you feel and react if you were me.
so tired of lies. so tired of you.
it's like you wont change forever.
i always and somehow hope you will turn into a better man after this shit.
but no. i put too much hope on you. i look high on you.
i dont want and dont hope we would get back together.
but no matter how much you did to me, i still hope you are, can and will be good.
i thought you would learn a little lesson from all this shits and grow up.
to a more matured, thoughtful, considerate and rational man.
but no. stupid to thought you would.
stupid to thought what  had happened between us and what you did to me will give you a hit to change into a better one.

and so, I LOST HOPE on  you.
i used to have high hope on you. not about love. but simply because i think you can be a better man.
but now, its up to you to be whatever man you like.
because i decided not to give a damn anymore.
maybe you simply have to fall and learn all the lessons yourself.
from now onward, your anything your everything is nothing to me anymore.
i dont care and i wont care.
even if you die, i wont give a damn.
we are still friends but only hi-bye surfaced friends.
thats the least i could do to show appreciation of our past relationship.
and thats all i can do.
you are you yourself. i am me myself.
no more intersection between our lifes.
even if im still friends with your family, that doesnt mean anything.
because you are you. your family is your family.
2 different bodies.

i get better day by day.
i know ive grown stronger and tougher.
i dont rush myself to get into a relationship so fast.
i want to and have to live and get used to my single life first.
of course i would feel lonely at times. i know the progress is tough
but i can do this.
i have to live my single life until i get rid of your shadow
until i could see others in my eyes without your shadow and our memories tagging along
to be fair for me and the others.
i know if i just go blindly into a relationship, it wouldnt last long.
it's just not right.
perhaps it's a good time for me to explore more, go outside of the box to see more learn more feel more.
refreshing moments. that's what me and my soul need.
yea good time for me to just grow up and learn.
not a baby girl anymore.
i never know how tough and how far i can go until this shit happened and here am i.
still standing strong. living my good life.


i believe everything happened for a reason.
and so i believe this shit happened to make me fall and learn and grow up into a better one.
all this shit happened to get myself prepared for future obstacles which will be 10 times harder tougher than this.
god wants me to be prepared for all coming hard times.


all time positive thinking.
hehe.
^^Y
hwaiting!!!


* felt much much much relieved after this last last last shit. because it made me see clearly everything. and realised yea this is the last.
there were quite a few LAST shit right before this last last last shit.
but this time is the last for real.
i've thrown them all away. i'm moving on without any burden.
bye. full stop.



Sue Ting.