........................................
not gonna say hi, i am back again. this is way too boring.
i guess everyone is tired of my hi i am back and then eventually gone missing again.
okay. so i will just say HALO EVERYONE OUT THERE! HOW ARE YOU? I MISS YOU ;)
i'm currently in exeter, uk now.
reached on 14th sept. and now it's the 4th of oct.
time really flies.
i'm being so emotional now
feelings keep rushing up to my mind keep rolling over and over again, unwilling to leave me alone.
i'm 20 what the hell.
and look at my profile, it's still 19th, written there.
i wish i am though.
too much to talk about that i dont even know where to start.
well, yea i'm studying in University of Exeter now. a nice campus but just a small city here.
everything is so different from malaysia which i really miss malaysia.
although malaysia sucks in some aspects like stupid politics, dirty environment etc, i still like malaysia
okay i will now say i dont like uk. sure some of you reading this will definitely say ALAH YOU WONT BE SAYING SO AFTER SOME TIME OR GET USED TO UK LIFE.
alright. we shall see ok? but malaysia, i love you!
my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my relatives, my home are all in malaysia.
i want them all to be with me =(
things are quite fine here. just that it's quite tough and complicated to start over everything here.
it's just like going to primary school, can you remember that?
going to school feeling afraid, didnt know anything and anyone there, hoping for good things to happen etc.
but this time, it's the thinking, the maturity, the feeling are different.
not the naive, innocent primary student anymore which we just talk and laugh, hurt and cry; do whatever we want.
it's different. sometimes you just have to toughen yourself up even though it's so so so tough for you that you can really cry.
we tend to think more now.in anything. that's what aches my mind. what the hell. can i just be naive enough to escape from these lousy thoughts?
even friends i met here, herm kinda different from me, and yes i know this is like for sure.
hoping to find some friends can be close to me.
it's really hard to act like nothing or knowing nothing in front of your so-called friends when actually you know everything.
i reallllyyyyy cant tahan! i really want to confront with them at that moment.
i want to dok bao them.lol the feeling sure damn satisfying and syok.
but i'm 20th so i have to act like a 20.
just suck it up girl.
they have their games and rules to play. so if you cant join in then step out.
dont make yourself suffer. you dont deserve it! they dont even care! wake up stupid you.
i feel like slapping myself. although i always tell myself aiya nothing one la dont have to care about them different people different pattern etc, i end up still thinking over and over again at the end of the day.
-.-
what do you expect miss lst!
you cant meet every friends who you will ngam and be close to right!
sampat!
how about classes?
it's still ok for now.
except for homeworks and an once a week tutorial quiz and once a week graded assignment.
cool ?
i can feel the stress starting from the first day.
everyone here is like wtf crazy hardworking clever people.
who am i and what am i to compete with them
lowest esteem ever!
everyone here is like studying all the time. memang damn am am lai, i think la.
i can see from faces.lol
all of them aiming for first class honour. of course i hope and want and will go for that.
but they are toooooooooooooooo extreme. like will die if i am not a first class honour degree grads.
wtf wtf wtf.
stress giler.
i just want to live happily here, explore and experience things here.
i hope i can balance education and fun very very well.
jia you jia you lst. you can do this.
must believe in yourself. ;)
do i like exeter?
it's okay. just a bit boring.
everyday is just wake up, go to class, come back from class, cook, eat, watch RM and sleep.
else, go to town after class, shop for groceries or clothes.
that's all that can be done here.
is uk memang like this? even in every cities?
i miss late night outing in malaysia, karaoke session, korean food- daorae and sushi!, drinking, going over friend's house etc. every single thing in malaysia!
there's nothing to here basically.
so i shall spend the time studying and doing homework.hahaha!
eh for the first time since primary school i guess, i really do my homework.
good thing good thing.
at least i work hard for it.
i am not gonna waste any single pennies my dad paid for me to study in uk.
hopefully i wont disappoint my family and friends!
oh yeah. i have to walk uphill to uni every morning for 20 minutes!
great? NOT AT ALL.
exercise i'll take it as.
exercise before class.great.
and my housemates are being so friendly and nice to each other too.
trey from london, callan from usa and danielle from canada. they are very nice.
helped me alot in cooking which i sucks like hell.
another housemate- shermaine from london.
i rarely see her around. non of us really sees her in the flat.
well it's ok.
hopefully things will get better day by day!
luck please come to me!
and stay with me!
it's not that i dont have luck but hehe more luck please *greedy*
everything will be fine.
"we cant make the right decision, but we can make the decision right" - from mr. someone which i forget.
"happiness is a choice" - from Evan Tan, he's always being so motivated. whenever i feel down, i will go and read his everyday motivating status from facebook.haha thanks for sharing.
these 2 are my motto. it's in my mind every single second, to cheer me up, to enlighten me.
having flu today.
argh. got to go shower!
bye everyone!
all is well! another favourite saying.
all of you guys must take care! we will meet each other in 9 months time!
:D
L.S.T
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